Disillusioned


As my thoughts journey back to when I became disillusioned with high school, I asked why I was there? Knowing that if I quit then, I could go back, but it would be much harder. I wasn’t about to give up on learning, just high school with all its problems.
Why do I talk about this event now?  Over the past years I have tried to start fresh with a new job market but it has left me with the same feelings of being disillusioned. Long hours followed by well it is just not working out or the wages can’t pay my rent. My latest job is in a retail lumber yard the wages can’t even pay my rent. Bad enough that it is a long bus ride to and from work. Of course, you’re outside all the time which didn’t bother me much in my early 40’s but now just seems to hurt more and bother me even more.
At age 50 plus you think you’re worth more and when I ran my own painting company, I was making a lot more. I have looked around for more in pay but in the Kootenays of British Columbia (BC) and in BC it seems there is a real problem with wages.
As I said DISILLUSIONED with it ALL no particular thoughts just this “game” I don’t want to play any more. My wife and I are working hard on doing a Crafts business then selling them which is what I need more of. I am working on another business which should work for income but as I said no money tucked away to start with yet.
This feeling  of just “why bother” is affecting my drive which for me is not good starting the new year as I need that drive to be creative in the wood working and crafts “we” build. Even working in my social media world, it was hard coming to writing today.

So just for today: _____You fill in the blank as today I don’t have an answer.


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